New beginnings

This past year has been a crazy one - notice the lack of posts, right?! - and I've been struggling with the demands that part-time lecturing has on my time. Marking, marking, marking for an intense six months of the year, then no work and no pay for the remaining six. It's been great not working in an office, not doing admin, not managing staff, but actually the lack of stability, and regular income have been problematic. Not to mention that marking hangs over into your home life so much... I miss being in a job where I can close the door at 5pm and leave my work there. So, this week I start two months of temporary administrative work at the University of Southampton, three days per week. And hopefully, if the interview goes well, I might get this gig permanently (if they let me stay part-time). The money is not as good as it needs to be to pay all my bills, but it's regular money. And hopefully what this job will give me is a bit more time. Sounds illogical, but it's time in the evenings and weekends that I need, to be able to write, research, make music and do all the other things that I want and need to do.

When these new sorts of beginnings come, I find it a really positive time to look at my life overall and see where I think things are going. This first spring in our new house has been amazing, and we've been doing so much in the garden. It's starting to look good now - though there is still masses to do, there *is* progress! - and we have a lovely seating area and some wonderful flowers starting to bloom. E has really been enjoying all the space and now has a climbing frame and slide, which keep him busy. So, this side of things is great. The woodsman, the boy and I are happy here.

There are two areas I'm not happy about. One is time - too many things to do, too many deadlines, not enough time. Hopefully the one job that I can leave behind at the end of each day should solve this. The second is health and diet. I've been so busy that I've been eating loads of junk, and it's really starting to show. So from next week, I'm trying to get back to some of my old good habits. Less booze, less caffeine, more fruit, veg and grains, herbal teas - basically more fresh food. None of that 'argh I'm at a train station and have 5 mins to eat, grab a bag of crisps!' thing that has been going on. And definitely no pain au chocolat for breakfast at the station any more!! To be honest, I won't miss it much. I'd rather make time to eat breakfast at home and have something tasty. E is up at 5.30am most mornings at the moment, so there should be plenty of time before I leave the house to get my breakfast. Novel thought, but perhaps I could get mine whilst he has his?! Oh, and also I've just found this site - 101 Cookbooks - with these delicious veggie recipes for some inspiration.

Finally, this Simple Living Manifesto has been providing me with some great ideas.

Now for watering the garden.... lovely job at the end of a hot, nearly-summer day

Photo by beauty that moves

Every woman needs a place to think

So I was walking down the South Bank on a rare trip to London, and I came across this bench. It reminded me of Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own which had such an impact on me when I was 18 and at Uni the first time round (can't believe that's 16 years ago now - wow!). It's funny that now, as a 34 year old woman, I still feel the need for a space of my own and somewhere to think. It seems that as women we don't always get space, and perhaps even more importantly time. With the expectation on us that we will look beautiful, we spend - to differing degrees - time on our clothes, our hair, our appearance. We are told our houses should be beautiful too, and in our domestic arrangements women often shoulder the greater cleaning/tidying duties, in unbalanced relationships. We are told that in this allegedly post-feminist day (don't get me started on postfeminism, dear reader!) that we have have our cake and eat it, but in amongst doing the childcare, cleaning the house, going out and having our careers and looking as fierce as we possibly can, we lose our most precious asset - time.

Since E was born, nearly 17 months ago, I've been struggling for balance in my life. I'm trying really hard to find something that works for us as a family, but that allows me to retain some sense of who I am. This blog is one part of this search. I feel that I need to cultivate space and time in my life. And in that space, I need to find the creative part of me again. Music, design, art, culture. In short, a life that cultivates beauty. Writers like Virginia Woolf and Helene Cixous talk about women finding their creative selves; actively seeking time and space to do so. And this might all start from finding yourself a place to sit, a place to think.

Photo via ruburton on Flickr